Guest Post – The LEGO Batman Movie

(I’m very happy to present to you this guest post by a WordPress blogger who wishes to remain anonymous. The opinions presented are not necessarily the opinions of me, High Lord Sturgeon)

I’m someone who was raised in shadow, who has looked out upon the world and seen evil in every corner. There are terrible things in this world, things people should be scared of, but instead celebrate. The rise of feminazis, the heavy chains of political correctness, the blight of social justice warriors. I see these things, and I weep, for the world is dark, and we need a hero who matches that tone.

I am a bat-fan.

This movie isn’t for me.

This movie is for the pathetic losers who think we should be kind and nice. This movie is for the freaks who think we should talk about feelings and emotions. This movie is for the very same people who read this and cry “ow you’ve offended me! You’ve upset me and now I think you should be censored!” If you’re one of those people, I hope you’re happy.

This movie has ruined my childhood. I love Batman. I love how serious it is, how realistic. It’s important to me, and to my growth as a person, because I see something truthful in batman, something none of these marvel films seem to get. I see that the world isn’t always a nice place. I see that there are those of us in the world who have to fight, and have to fight alone, because the rest of the world just doesn’t see what we see.

This film ruins that. It doesn’t just ruin it, it makes fun of us. It laughs at us and treats us like immature teenagers. It doesn’t understand our pain. It doesn’t understand our struggle. Instead it looks down and laughs from its pedestal, teaching children all the wrong lessons, dangerous lessons. It’s a disgrace. It’s a batscrace. A Bat-Disgrace.

And it’s so gay! I mean, batman is a muscle man, he’s cute sure, but he’s not gay! Jesus! It’s bad. It’s really, really bad. 0/10. Thanks Obama. Praise high lord Trump. Kill all foreigners.

P.S At least they didn’t make batman a woman.

PP.S Batman would totally beat superman in a fight.

One thought on “Guest Post – The LEGO Batman Movie

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