I’ve been through a breakup recently, and it’s tough. I think I’ve finally worked out how I’m going to cope, though, so I have some advice for other people who might be in a similar situation. Here are my top five ways to get over a breakup.
- Dance, and be silly
If you’re anything like me, most of the time post-breakup you’ll be alone. Still, I imagine you’re not doing anything all that unusual, even when nobodies looking. My advice is to just cast your gaze about your room, realise there’s nobody there to see, and dance! Dance to your hearts content! Look like an idiot, look like the stupidest little jelly bean around! Why not? It might cheer you up, eh? It might make the sadness and the hurt and pain feel just a little more distant.
For a while, at least. Maybe the joy will wear off, and you’ll be left with yourself again. Maybe the more you dance, the quicker the joy will go. Maybe it’s only temporary, like your relationship, like everything.
But still, dance. Just like true love, it’s nice, while it lasts at any rate.
- Comfort eat
I know, it’s hard to comfort eat without feeling guilty. But hey, this is your time, and you need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.
Eat how you want to eat. Enjoy it. Food is one of the most brilliant things in life, and you don’t have very many brilliant things going on at the moment. Some people will judge you for the way you eat, but you go ahead and judge them right back. Some might even tell you to stop sending her pictures of how skinny you’re getting, of your arms as thin as bone, your legs so weak you can hardly stand, but you eat however you want, it’s called comfort eating for a reason. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable, do it. Eat however you want, you’re the only boss of you.
- Love your friends, and let them love you
This one is key. If there’s only one thing you take away from this article, let it be this one thing. This one thing is this. Accept love from other places. Those ways your partner, ex, used to make you feel good? Other people can do that too. Let other people touch you, in your heart. Let them caress you, in your soul. Let them comfort you in the way only another human body can, through hugs and high fives.
Some people aren’t as lucky as me. Some people, once their ex runs off with that awful Romanian with shiny hair, find themselves pretty lonely. They never were that good at making friends, and they mostly chatted with hers. She was popular, see. The sort of girl who made me feel welcome. Who made me feel like I could trust her, and tell her things, and treat her like the best friend I’d never had. Once she left, I had no one. I couldn’t cope because I was so upset and angry and wanted to shout about it, to scream at the world. But there was nobody listening. Nobody to help carry my stress. Nobody to touch me, in my heart, how I so loved to be touched.
Which brings me onto my next point.
- Love yourself
I know, I know, it’s cheesy, but people always mention it for a reason. You need to understand that you deserve to be loved. You need to realise you’re amazing. Love will find you again, it will. But you don’t have to wait. You can find love now. In yourself. With yourself. You have hands, right?
It might not be as good as when she did it. It might pale in comparison. But that’s something you’re going to have to get used to. Things won’t be as good, for a little while. You’ll love yourself and you’ll feel hollow, disgusted even. You’ll long for some basic human connection. Anything to help get rid of the pain. Anything. Please.
- Know when it’s over
It’s important to work out if things are really finished. You have to know for sure, because yeah, maybe they’re not. They’re probably not, to be honest. There’s no way she really moved on that fast. That’s impossible. So make sure you wait. Make sure you wait for her to come back. Because it hurts. It hurts so much. I don’t want it to hurt anymore. I want things to go back to how they were. I want things to be okay again. And if I just wait a little bit longer, they will be. I know they will be.
So wait. Wait for her to come home. She has to eventually, right? She has to. And when she does everything will go back to normal. It’ll be like nothing ever happened. Because maybe it’s not over. How can you be sure? If you’re not sure, there’s no point giving up. So wait for her. She’ll come.