Dear Father McAlister
Yes that’s a star fish on my head. You know, those five fingered flesh lumps you were so eager to call ‘nonsense’ and ‘propaganda’. Well, surprise, they’re real, and they’ve not been invented by the government to keep us from the true faith, and they’re not a representation of the capitalist agenda, and you know what? They’re actually kind of cute. I saw all eight harry potter films too. All eight. I’ve been learning a whole lot about the world (which is round, thank you very much), and, as I’m sure you’ve discovered, prisons are most definitely a thing, and they’re very exciting. I hear all sorts of fun stuff goes on behind the scenes. There’s this film called the Shawshank Redemption, you should give it a watch sometime. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to existing. Enjoy your life, I’ll sure enjoy mine.