There’s something magical about Welcome to Happiness, and I think by even writing this article I’m going to ruin some of that. You see, I watched Welcome to Happiness the way I never, ever watch movies. I watched it knowing absolutely nothing beforehand.Read more "Welcome to Happiness – A film for me"
She was first a cartoon, and then a collection of rather shapely pixels, and now she’s a lovely lady on cinema screens all over the world, with a heart-warming smile and a terribly frosty midriff. She’s an icon, someone people can look up to, hands tucked deep in pockets, out of view.Read more "Suicide Squad: This Harley Quinn Romance"
I suckle the teat of the milk bottle, my lips fastened tightly against the plastic. I slurp and gorge, feel the liquid ooze quickly down my chin, and I close my eyes. The milk is inside me, puss and blood and all. I am a monster.Read more "Simon Amstell: Carnage"
I’m young and beautiful and think all old things are dumb, so I’ve never seen happy Batman. What I have seen is Christopher Nolan’s Bat-films, and Zach Snyders Bat-Mum-twist, and the Arkham videogames Bat-Punch and Kick system. Then along came Bat-Lego-Man, and the joy of adding the word Bat as a prefix to everything was revealed to me. What a wonderful joy it is.Read more "The LEGO Batman Movie"
I’m someone who was raised in shadow, who has looked out upon the world and seen evil in every corner. There are terrible things in this world, things people should be scared of, but instead celebrate. The rise of feminazis, the heavy chains of political correctness, the blight of social justice warriors. I see these things, and I weep, for the world is dark, and we need a hero who matches that tone.
I am a bat-fan.
This movie isn’t for me.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, apart from having one of the most confusing titles I’ve ever seen, is also just brilliant. There’s so much I could say about this movie, and the series as a whole. Its bananas how good they are. Not only in the way they tell a brand new story, but in the way they ape the classics as well. They’re masterful at creating empathy not just with the animals but with the human’s, who it could be argued are much harder to root for. There’s not a wooden actor in sight.Read more "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"